Boundaries

"Boundaries are not restrictive fences meant to keep you from enjoying life, but gifts from a God who cares about your well-being."  Lisa TerKeurst in "Made to Crave"

So my healthly eating plan is not a pre-set list of meals, do's and don't's and rules.  It's a set of prayerfully developed boundaries that will lead me towards my goal and I am free to eat whatever I want within those boundaries. I recognize that the boundaries may need to change as my body changes so I will be paying close attention and adjusting as necessary.

 It's been said that desperation breeds defeat, and I would add that deprivation leads to desperation.  If I feel really deprived, that's when I get grumpy and start justifying bad choices.  A lot of my boundaries are set up to help me make good choices, while not feeling deprived.

 So here are my current boundaries:

Calories:  I am not rigorously counting calories, but after years of dieting off and on, I'm pretty aware of the calorie counts in most of what I eat.  I target around 1200 calories a day...150 - 250 at breakfast, 300 - 400 at lunch, 500 - 600 at dinner and 100 of "other".  I have to push to find ways to incorporate more vegetables into my meals and control my sweet tooth.

Eating Out and Portion Control:  This is huge for me.  Our family eats out a LOT.  It's just the thing we like to do as a family.  We don't hunt, play sports, have a boat or any other expensive hobbies.  We eat out.  Plus I have work meetings over lunch where food is brought in at least once a week and I travel about four or five days out of each month, so I probably eat out 30 - 40% of my meals.  But portions and fat content at restaurants are out of control!  If possible, I always look at a restaurant's menu and nutrition information online and make my selection before I get there. When my plate is served to me, I make a decision right then how much of it I'm going to eat....usually half or less of the meat and vegetables, a quarter or less of the bread or dessert.  I physically move the part I'm not going to eat off of my plate, asking for a to-go box if necessary so I can have the leftovers for another meal, saving money AND calories!   Fortunately, I'm one of those people that sticks with what I know I will like, rather than wanting to sample something different every time I go to a restaurant.  So at the places where I end up going often, I get the same thing all the time, so I really know what I'm getting.

Seconds:   When I am eating at home, it aggravates me to have something really good and then not be able to go back for seconds.  For some reason, that second serving is so much satisfying than the first one!  I usually put my dinner on a bread or salad plate instead of a dinner plate, so my first serving is very small and then go back for a second small serving, guilt-free!

Snacks:  I have to be very careful about snacks.  Once I get started, it is hard for me to stop.  I can measure out one ounce of chips...but then I go back for one more....and one more.  So it's better if I don't start at all.  My office neighbor keeps a candy jar of Hershey's Chocolate Nuggets on her desk. I have contributed bags of dark chocolate to her stash and allow myself ONE nugget every afternoon.  It satisfies my chocolate cravings and since it's on her desk, I'm too embarassed to keep going back for more.  Accountability is a good thing.  Except for today.  It was a stressful afternoon and I had THREE chocolates today!  oops...  I stay away from snacks in the evening if I can, although a couple of times a week, I might have a bowl of no-sugar-added ice cream or a pudding cup.

The Morning Sweet Stop:  I used to stop at Starbucks for a mocha and vanilla scones or Mary Lee Donuts for a glazed cake and chocolate cake donut three or four times a week....after having breakfast at home.   Now I allow myself to stop for a non-fat mocha only on the last work day of the week.  I can also get scones or donuts once during the first week of the month, but between being sick and the bad weather we had last week, I didn't do this for February and didn't really miss it.

Somethings are just so bad for me that they are completely not allowable any more.  I go to a Friends of the Library used book sale the last Saturday morning of every month and I used to treat myself to a cookie from the Subway next door before the sale and an apple fritter from the donut shop across the street after the sale.  Now I just save my weekly Starbucks mocha stop for that morning and be happy with that.  And  here's a true confession...I often (5 - 6 times a month) stopped at Chik-fil-A on the way home from work and got a chicken sandwich with mayo and a cookies-and-cream shake, ate that in the car, then had dinner when I got home.  I don't know why I did it.  I guess I just was stressed out from work, knew I would face more stress when I got home, and just stuffed myself to try to push all that stress away.  Of course, it only made me feel fat and disgusted with myself, but for some reason, I forgot that the next time I got close to that Chik-fil-A. That is just a boundary I cannot cross any more.  I have started listening to Christian audiobooks in the car so that my mind is a bit involved in something uplifting on the way home.  I have started praying when I get in the car that God would help me leave the cares of work at work so I can be prepared to engage with my family in the way they need me to when I get home.

These boundaries are working for me.  I love being able to have whatever my family is having, going out to eat whenever we want to, and passing these healthly habits on to the loved ones around me.