Whoa...I can't believe it's been so long since I updated the blog! Not that a whole lot of people are reading or anything, but still.....
Anyway, since I last updated in March, I have been to Chicago four times and Los Angeles for work, four days in New York City with my mom and daughter for a girls weekend, and a week in Puerto Rico on a mission trip. It's been crazy busy! And a recipe for a diet disaster. But thankfully, I'm not on a diet :)
Over the last four months, I have radically changed the way I eat. I've made little changes every two or three weeks and have gradually cut out red meat, refined sugar and white flour, pasta, potatoes and most most cheese. Considering that my favorite meal used to be a big juicy steak with a baked potato loaded with sour cream and cheese, that's a big deal! And I really should say "avoid" instead of "cut out". I'm not militant about it...if I am at an event and they are serving hamburgers, I eat a hamburger. If I am at a restaurant, I make the best choice I can without being "that" person who sends a list of special requests back to the kitchen. I'm also using a lot of almond milk in place of dairy milk, almond butter, agave nector instead of sugar, brown rice pasta....my cupboard looks like a Whole Foods store! I never would have believed it. And I think this is really sustainable.
As far as exercise is concerned, I'm still just riding my exercise bike and doing a little bit of upper body strength work. But I think it's time to turn it up a small notch so I have an appointment with a personal trainer tomorrow for the first time and I'll start going to the gym maybe once a week. I just don't have time to go three or four times a week.
Results, you ask? Well, yea! I've lost about 65 pounds! I'm only 17 pounds from my Thanksgiving goal! So the "obey" is going well!
"Read" has been a little slow. I've read some great books....some good Elizabeth Chadwich historical fiction and I've started the Bowers Files series by Steven James in Christian Fiction. I also finally broke down and bought a Kindle. With all of the traveling I have been doing, it was nice not to lug around two or three books everywhere.
And for "Love", I had a great time with my daughter on our mission trip to Puerto Rico. God just blessed the week and I was thankful to experience that with her. Now we are on to serious planning for her wedding next summer. My son is still his own little animal...I didn't understand teenage boys when I was a teenager and I don't understand them any better now! He's working his first summer job so it's fun watching him learn to handle the responsibility that comes with the money.
It's a beautiful day and a beautiful time in my life. I'm so thankful for the friends who have encouraged, supported and held me accountable during this time!
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
The Secret History of the Pink Carnation by Lauren Willig
- A historical setting involving real historical figures with accurate detail
- A strong romance storyline
- Humor - both in dialog and circumstance
- A bit of mystery
This book has all of that, so why isn't it perfect? I can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe because it appears to have all of my elements on the surface, but it has too much of some and not enough of others...just not the right balance.
Let's start with the historical setting. Yes, it's set in the past, so that qualifies. There are some scenes with Napolean and some of his family members, but I'd like to have seen more interaction between them and the characters in the story. I did love the portrayal of Josephine. I've never read a book about her, so I need to fix that.
The romance storyline was strong, but c'mon....she goes by boat from England to France and without knowing his name or what he looks like, finds herself in the cabin with the exact guy she's looking for? Really? And then they are so in love with other but she doesn't recognize his voice when his face is covered with a mask? I'm all for suspending disbelief...in fact, I love it...but that's just too much even for me.
I did enjoy the humor, although it ran a little to the cutesy side. And the mystery wrapped up very neatly.
So it was a solid good book that I enjoyed reading, but won't make my list of Top Ten reads at the end of the year. I won't run out and acquire the next books in the series, but I'll pick them up if I stumble on them. They would probably be good beach reads.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
What brings value??
So I weighed in this morning and I had lost another six pounds. I should be ecstatic, right??? I mean, I've lost 36 pounds in 13 weeks....averaging three pounds a week for that long is amazing. I crossed over a number that I haven't been able to get past in over three years. On Sunday and Monday, for the first time, people who didn't already know I was working on this told me they could tell I had lost a lot of weight. So it's all good, right???
But the goal for the month was eight pounds. I walked away from the scale dejected. And could already feel the pressure to revert back to my old unhealthy ways of attacking this. "I'm gonna have to start getting up at 4am to get more exercise in...I need to clamp down harder on what I'm eating...maybe I need to start weighing more often." By the time I made it to my chair for my quiet time, I knew I needed a God intervention before I fell completely down the obsessive-compulsive rabbit hole. I prayed for God to speak directly and specifically to me from His Word this morning. I fully expected to find something happy and encouraging..."Press on, keep the faith, I'm okay, you're okay, it's the thought that counts" kinda stuff. Silly me.
My reading this morning was in Colossians 2. First I got the happy: "...I am present with you in spirit and delight to see how disciplined you are and how firm your faith in Christ is. (v. 5)" But then I got the admonishing wake-up call that I needed: "Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules: "Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!"? These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence. (v. 20 - 23)"
Wow. I'm so thankful for a God who tells me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear. I can treat my body harshly to lose 8 pounds this month. I know I can do that. But that lacks any eternal value. I'm focused on re-training my cravings (sensual indulgences). I'm learning that I will crave whatever I consume, both physically and spiritually. If I eat sweets, I'll crave sweets. If I eat healthy, I'll crave healthly. If I mentally consume the TV ads for ripped abs and online articles for crash diets, I'll crave the daily weigh-ins and punishing workouts. But if I consume God's Word and digest his happy encouragement along with his loving admonitions, I'll crave more of Him. Now THAT is value!
But the goal for the month was eight pounds. I walked away from the scale dejected. And could already feel the pressure to revert back to my old unhealthy ways of attacking this. "I'm gonna have to start getting up at 4am to get more exercise in...I need to clamp down harder on what I'm eating...maybe I need to start weighing more often." By the time I made it to my chair for my quiet time, I knew I needed a God intervention before I fell completely down the obsessive-compulsive rabbit hole. I prayed for God to speak directly and specifically to me from His Word this morning. I fully expected to find something happy and encouraging..."Press on, keep the faith, I'm okay, you're okay, it's the thought that counts" kinda stuff. Silly me.
My reading this morning was in Colossians 2. First I got the happy: "...I am present with you in spirit and delight to see how disciplined you are and how firm your faith in Christ is. (v. 5)" But then I got the admonishing wake-up call that I needed: "Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules: "Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!"? These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence. (v. 20 - 23)"
Wow. I'm so thankful for a God who tells me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear. I can treat my body harshly to lose 8 pounds this month. I know I can do that. But that lacks any eternal value. I'm focused on re-training my cravings (sensual indulgences). I'm learning that I will crave whatever I consume, both physically and spiritually. If I eat sweets, I'll crave sweets. If I eat healthy, I'll crave healthly. If I mentally consume the TV ads for ripped abs and online articles for crash diets, I'll crave the daily weigh-ins and punishing workouts. But if I consume God's Word and digest his happy encouragement along with his loving admonitions, I'll crave more of Him. Now THAT is value!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Move it, Move it, Move it!
Let's talk about everybody's favorite subject...EXERCISE!!! Now believe it or not, I really do like to exercise. Over the years, I've done a wide range of things, including running, walking, Gazelle, Tae Bo, aerobics, The Firm, etc. I think my favorites are running and The Firm. However, both of those are rough on the knees and I have issues with my left knee being very susceptible to tendonitis of the patella (kneecap). So I really need to do exercise that doesn't put a lot of pressure on my knees.
At Thanksgiving, my parents gave me their recumbent exercise bike and that's what I have been using. And I love it!
Because I enjoy exercising, I tend to push too hard, over do and get injured. A couple of times, I've also hit that wall where I'm building muscle and not losing pounds. I don't want to get to either of those places this time, so here's the program I devised for myself (again...without any professional knowledge or training, other than what I've learned about my body over the years).
I have to do my main work out in the mornings. The evenings are just too crazy to count on being consistent. So I get up at 4:30 every morning, read my Bible and pray, then start my workout.
For the first ten weeks, the focus was totally on cardio and burning calories. I started at 30 minutes on the exercise bike at very low tension then increased the time by one minute and the tension every week, aiming for 5 - 6 times per week. By the time I hit 40 minutes, the tension was so high that I was starting to get some pain in my knee. So I backed off on the tension a bit to where it is relatively comfortable.
Once I was doing 40 minutes consistently, I started adding a little bit of core strength work....mainly some crunches and push-ups. That lasted about 2 - 3 weeks....cardio plus a little core.
Last week, I made another little change, adding some upper body strength work with weights. On Mon, Wed and Fri, I do my regular 40 minute ride, leaving the tension where it is, but pushing myself to ride a little harder and increase the calories burned a little each day. On Tues, Thurs and Sat, I do a 30 minute, low-intensity ride and I do some strength work on my arms with a weight while I am riding. I am definitely starting to feel the muscle in my arms and upper body! I also so some crunches and pushups on those days.
My strength work has been mostly focused on my upper body because I am also doing some stretches and quad-setting exercises to strengthen my knee. I'm hoping that by taking it very gradually and doing all I can to build up the knee and losing another 15 pounds or so, I will be able to start doing some lower body strength work in another six weeks. I'd love to start doing some of my Firm workouts again and maybe even start running eventually.
I hope that I am avoiding a plateau by changing things gradually and adding something every few weeks. Just when my body "adjusts" to the level of exercise I'm doing, I add on and give my metabolism a push start.
So that's what I'm doing for my main workout every morning. In addition to that, I'm doing a lot of little things to add more movement and calorie burning to my day. At least two or three nights a week, I hop on the exercise bike and ride at a low intensity level while I am watching American Idol or reading. Since it is a recumbent bike, I can just sit back and relax while I'm pedaling! I try to burn about 150 calories during each of those sessions.
Now this part might sound crazy, but I also do a lot of pacing and walking in place. I always walk the floors when I'm talking on the phone (this drives my husband crazy!). When I fold clothes, I walk each piece to where it goes then come back to the pile for the next piece. This might mean that it takes me 20 minutes to put away a load instead of 10 minutes, but that's 20 minutes of exercise that I would not have gotten, so it's worth it. I march in place or "step-touch" side to side while I'm doing the dishes, in the shower (careful not to slip!), brushing my teeth, drying my hair....anytime I'm standing still, I'm not standing still! I might not be burning very many calories by doing this, but every little bit counts and it helps to keep me reminded of and focussed on the task ahead.
We'll see how I'm doing when I have my first-of-the-month weigh-in next Tuesday!
At Thanksgiving, my parents gave me their recumbent exercise bike and that's what I have been using. And I love it!
Because I enjoy exercising, I tend to push too hard, over do and get injured. A couple of times, I've also hit that wall where I'm building muscle and not losing pounds. I don't want to get to either of those places this time, so here's the program I devised for myself (again...without any professional knowledge or training, other than what I've learned about my body over the years).
I have to do my main work out in the mornings. The evenings are just too crazy to count on being consistent. So I get up at 4:30 every morning, read my Bible and pray, then start my workout.
For the first ten weeks, the focus was totally on cardio and burning calories. I started at 30 minutes on the exercise bike at very low tension then increased the time by one minute and the tension every week, aiming for 5 - 6 times per week. By the time I hit 40 minutes, the tension was so high that I was starting to get some pain in my knee. So I backed off on the tension a bit to where it is relatively comfortable.
Once I was doing 40 minutes consistently, I started adding a little bit of core strength work....mainly some crunches and push-ups. That lasted about 2 - 3 weeks....cardio plus a little core.
Last week, I made another little change, adding some upper body strength work with weights. On Mon, Wed and Fri, I do my regular 40 minute ride, leaving the tension where it is, but pushing myself to ride a little harder and increase the calories burned a little each day. On Tues, Thurs and Sat, I do a 30 minute, low-intensity ride and I do some strength work on my arms with a weight while I am riding. I am definitely starting to feel the muscle in my arms and upper body! I also so some crunches and pushups on those days.
My strength work has been mostly focused on my upper body because I am also doing some stretches and quad-setting exercises to strengthen my knee. I'm hoping that by taking it very gradually and doing all I can to build up the knee and losing another 15 pounds or so, I will be able to start doing some lower body strength work in another six weeks. I'd love to start doing some of my Firm workouts again and maybe even start running eventually.
I hope that I am avoiding a plateau by changing things gradually and adding something every few weeks. Just when my body "adjusts" to the level of exercise I'm doing, I add on and give my metabolism a push start.
So that's what I'm doing for my main workout every morning. In addition to that, I'm doing a lot of little things to add more movement and calorie burning to my day. At least two or three nights a week, I hop on the exercise bike and ride at a low intensity level while I am watching American Idol or reading. Since it is a recumbent bike, I can just sit back and relax while I'm pedaling! I try to burn about 150 calories during each of those sessions.
Now this part might sound crazy, but I also do a lot of pacing and walking in place. I always walk the floors when I'm talking on the phone (this drives my husband crazy!). When I fold clothes, I walk each piece to where it goes then come back to the pile for the next piece. This might mean that it takes me 20 minutes to put away a load instead of 10 minutes, but that's 20 minutes of exercise that I would not have gotten, so it's worth it. I march in place or "step-touch" side to side while I'm doing the dishes, in the shower (careful not to slip!), brushing my teeth, drying my hair....anytime I'm standing still, I'm not standing still! I might not be burning very many calories by doing this, but every little bit counts and it helps to keep me reminded of and focussed on the task ahead.
We'll see how I'm doing when I have my first-of-the-month weigh-in next Tuesday!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Boundaries
"Boundaries are not restrictive fences meant to keep you from enjoying life, but gifts from a God who cares about your well-being." Lisa TerKeurst in "Made to Crave"
So my healthly eating plan is not a pre-set list of meals, do's and don't's and rules. It's a set of prayerfully developed boundaries that will lead me towards my goal and I am free to eat whatever I want within those boundaries. I recognize that the boundaries may need to change as my body changes so I will be paying close attention and adjusting as necessary.
It's been said that desperation breeds defeat, and I would add that deprivation leads to desperation. If I feel really deprived, that's when I get grumpy and start justifying bad choices. A lot of my boundaries are set up to help me make good choices, while not feeling deprived.
So here are my current boundaries:
Calories: I am not rigorously counting calories, but after years of dieting off and on, I'm pretty aware of the calorie counts in most of what I eat. I target around 1200 calories a day...150 - 250 at breakfast, 300 - 400 at lunch, 500 - 600 at dinner and 100 of "other". I have to push to find ways to incorporate more vegetables into my meals and control my sweet tooth.
Eating Out and Portion Control: This is huge for me. Our family eats out a LOT. It's just the thing we like to do as a family. We don't hunt, play sports, have a boat or any other expensive hobbies. We eat out. Plus I have work meetings over lunch where food is brought in at least once a week and I travel about four or five days out of each month, so I probably eat out 30 - 40% of my meals. But portions and fat content at restaurants are out of control! If possible, I always look at a restaurant's menu and nutrition information online and make my selection before I get there. When my plate is served to me, I make a decision right then how much of it I'm going to eat....usually half or less of the meat and vegetables, a quarter or less of the bread or dessert. I physically move the part I'm not going to eat off of my plate, asking for a to-go box if necessary so I can have the leftovers for another meal, saving money AND calories! Fortunately, I'm one of those people that sticks with what I know I will like, rather than wanting to sample something different every time I go to a restaurant. So at the places where I end up going often, I get the same thing all the time, so I really know what I'm getting.
Seconds: When I am eating at home, it aggravates me to have something really good and then not be able to go back for seconds. For some reason, that second serving is so much satisfying than the first one! I usually put my dinner on a bread or salad plate instead of a dinner plate, so my first serving is very small and then go back for a second small serving, guilt-free!
Snacks: I have to be very careful about snacks. Once I get started, it is hard for me to stop. I can measure out one ounce of chips...but then I go back for one more....and one more. So it's better if I don't start at all. My office neighbor keeps a candy jar of Hershey's Chocolate Nuggets on her desk. I have contributed bags of dark chocolate to her stash and allow myself ONE nugget every afternoon. It satisfies my chocolate cravings and since it's on her desk, I'm too embarassed to keep going back for more. Accountability is a good thing. Except for today. It was a stressful afternoon and I had THREE chocolates today! oops... I stay away from snacks in the evening if I can, although a couple of times a week, I might have a bowl of no-sugar-added ice cream or a pudding cup.
The Morning Sweet Stop: I used to stop at Starbucks for a mocha and vanilla scones or Mary Lee Donuts for a glazed cake and chocolate cake donut three or four times a week....after having breakfast at home. Now I allow myself to stop for a non-fat mocha only on the last work day of the week. I can also get scones or donuts once during the first week of the month, but between being sick and the bad weather we had last week, I didn't do this for February and didn't really miss it.
Somethings are just so bad for me that they are completely not allowable any more. I go to a Friends of the Library used book sale the last Saturday morning of every month and I used to treat myself to a cookie from the Subway next door before the sale and an apple fritter from the donut shop across the street after the sale. Now I just save my weekly Starbucks mocha stop for that morning and be happy with that. And here's a true confession...I often (5 - 6 times a month) stopped at Chik-fil-A on the way home from work and got a chicken sandwich with mayo and a cookies-and-cream shake, ate that in the car, then had dinner when I got home. I don't know why I did it. I guess I just was stressed out from work, knew I would face more stress when I got home, and just stuffed myself to try to push all that stress away. Of course, it only made me feel fat and disgusted with myself, but for some reason, I forgot that the next time I got close to that Chik-fil-A. That is just a boundary I cannot cross any more. I have started listening to Christian audiobooks in the car so that my mind is a bit involved in something uplifting on the way home. I have started praying when I get in the car that God would help me leave the cares of work at work so I can be prepared to engage with my family in the way they need me to when I get home.
These boundaries are working for me. I love being able to have whatever my family is having, going out to eat whenever we want to, and passing these healthly habits on to the loved ones around me.
So my healthly eating plan is not a pre-set list of meals, do's and don't's and rules. It's a set of prayerfully developed boundaries that will lead me towards my goal and I am free to eat whatever I want within those boundaries. I recognize that the boundaries may need to change as my body changes so I will be paying close attention and adjusting as necessary.
It's been said that desperation breeds defeat, and I would add that deprivation leads to desperation. If I feel really deprived, that's when I get grumpy and start justifying bad choices. A lot of my boundaries are set up to help me make good choices, while not feeling deprived.
So here are my current boundaries:
Calories: I am not rigorously counting calories, but after years of dieting off and on, I'm pretty aware of the calorie counts in most of what I eat. I target around 1200 calories a day...150 - 250 at breakfast, 300 - 400 at lunch, 500 - 600 at dinner and 100 of "other". I have to push to find ways to incorporate more vegetables into my meals and control my sweet tooth.
Eating Out and Portion Control: This is huge for me. Our family eats out a LOT. It's just the thing we like to do as a family. We don't hunt, play sports, have a boat or any other expensive hobbies. We eat out. Plus I have work meetings over lunch where food is brought in at least once a week and I travel about four or five days out of each month, so I probably eat out 30 - 40% of my meals. But portions and fat content at restaurants are out of control! If possible, I always look at a restaurant's menu and nutrition information online and make my selection before I get there. When my plate is served to me, I make a decision right then how much of it I'm going to eat....usually half or less of the meat and vegetables, a quarter or less of the bread or dessert. I physically move the part I'm not going to eat off of my plate, asking for a to-go box if necessary so I can have the leftovers for another meal, saving money AND calories! Fortunately, I'm one of those people that sticks with what I know I will like, rather than wanting to sample something different every time I go to a restaurant. So at the places where I end up going often, I get the same thing all the time, so I really know what I'm getting.
Seconds: When I am eating at home, it aggravates me to have something really good and then not be able to go back for seconds. For some reason, that second serving is so much satisfying than the first one! I usually put my dinner on a bread or salad plate instead of a dinner plate, so my first serving is very small and then go back for a second small serving, guilt-free!
Snacks: I have to be very careful about snacks. Once I get started, it is hard for me to stop. I can measure out one ounce of chips...but then I go back for one more....and one more. So it's better if I don't start at all. My office neighbor keeps a candy jar of Hershey's Chocolate Nuggets on her desk. I have contributed bags of dark chocolate to her stash and allow myself ONE nugget every afternoon. It satisfies my chocolate cravings and since it's on her desk, I'm too embarassed to keep going back for more. Accountability is a good thing. Except for today. It was a stressful afternoon and I had THREE chocolates today! oops... I stay away from snacks in the evening if I can, although a couple of times a week, I might have a bowl of no-sugar-added ice cream or a pudding cup.
The Morning Sweet Stop: I used to stop at Starbucks for a mocha and vanilla scones or Mary Lee Donuts for a glazed cake and chocolate cake donut three or four times a week....after having breakfast at home. Now I allow myself to stop for a non-fat mocha only on the last work day of the week. I can also get scones or donuts once during the first week of the month, but between being sick and the bad weather we had last week, I didn't do this for February and didn't really miss it.
Somethings are just so bad for me that they are completely not allowable any more. I go to a Friends of the Library used book sale the last Saturday morning of every month and I used to treat myself to a cookie from the Subway next door before the sale and an apple fritter from the donut shop across the street after the sale. Now I just save my weekly Starbucks mocha stop for that morning and be happy with that. And here's a true confession...I often (5 - 6 times a month) stopped at Chik-fil-A on the way home from work and got a chicken sandwich with mayo and a cookies-and-cream shake, ate that in the car, then had dinner when I got home. I don't know why I did it. I guess I just was stressed out from work, knew I would face more stress when I got home, and just stuffed myself to try to push all that stress away. Of course, it only made me feel fat and disgusted with myself, but for some reason, I forgot that the next time I got close to that Chik-fil-A. That is just a boundary I cannot cross any more. I have started listening to Christian audiobooks in the car so that my mind is a bit involved in something uplifting on the way home. I have started praying when I get in the car that God would help me leave the cares of work at work so I can be prepared to engage with my family in the way they need me to when I get home.
These boundaries are working for me. I love being able to have whatever my family is having, going out to eat whenever we want to, and passing these healthly habits on to the loved ones around me.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Different as Night and Day!
My 15yo son came home from school the other day with his results from the Plan Test. It's a sort of "pre-ACT" that gives high school students some test taking practice and predicts the range of their future scores on the real ACT. He did well and was happy with his score and wanted to compare it to his sister's. So I dug out the results from the test she took five years ago and we all had a good laugh at the results. The result sheets lists their scores in each area...English, Math, Social Studies, Science... and then a composite score that combines them all. Their composite score was almost identical. But on her's, the individual scores were descending from English to Science, while his was ascending from English to Science. Both of them were in the 99th percentile for the area of their top scores...her's in English and his in Science!
They also have to answer a bunch of questions when they take the test about different career paths and the answers are used to plot potential careers on a big circle. Of course, all of her suggested careers were on the left side of the circle and all of his were on the right side!
They have been total opposites all of their lives. But they are each a blessing to me in their own ways. And I pray that God will continue to show me the way to love them as individuals. The same way that God shows me that he loves me in unique and personal ways, I want to show that same personal love to each of my grown-up bundles of joy!
They also have to answer a bunch of questions when they take the test about different career paths and the answers are used to plot potential careers on a big circle. Of course, all of her suggested careers were on the left side of the circle and all of his were on the right side!
They have been total opposites all of their lives. But they are each a blessing to me in their own ways. And I pray that God will continue to show me the way to love them as individuals. The same way that God shows me that he loves me in unique and personal ways, I want to show that same personal love to each of my grown-up bundles of joy!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
There's a Camel in Front of Me!!
So this is an exciting day! The first of the month, which means I got to weigh this morning for the first time since New Year's Day. And guess what??? I lost another 13 pounds! That makes a total of 30 pounds since Thanksgiving! I think I really like only weighing once a month...seeing that big number is so much more motivating than seeing little numbers every week or tiny numbers every day. It makes me feel like I'm on The Biggest Loser! LOL!
But now things could get hard. Let's face it....I've lost all or part of these exact same 30 pounds three times over the last five years. And this is where I have always gotten stuck. So what's different this time that will help me get over this giant hump staring me in the face?
God is so faithful to put the exact words I need right in front of me every morning. Today I was reading my Made to Crave devotional and Day 13 is titled The Tower of Impossibility. And she was writing about the exact same concept as my "coins of obedience", except for her, they are bricks on the path to victory. She has towers, I have humps....she has bricks, I have coins...so cool. Anyway, she's piling up her good choices to build a new foundation for her life and after piling them up high enough, one day she woke feeling empowered and hopeful. That was me today! Except I didn't start out very hopeful. I approached the scale with fear...and a lot of excuses. I travelled out of town for a week this month...I was sick and didn't exercise for a couple of days....I was surrounded by sugar and chocolate for a bake sale this weekend....Two birthdays in our family meant two birthday dinners....all the reasons why I might not make my goal. The goal that GOD had given me through much prayer in how to approach this thing. "Just be prepared, girl....with all that has happened this month, a couple of pounds below the goal will be okay." Then when I stepped on the scale, I couldn't believe my eyes! I jumped off then got back on again to make sure it said the same thing! Then I moved the scale to a different spot on the floor and weighed again...just to be sure! Hope and real confidence that I truly could do this thing flooded my soul!
Then in my devotional, she put it this way:
But now things could get hard. Let's face it....I've lost all or part of these exact same 30 pounds three times over the last five years. And this is where I have always gotten stuck. So what's different this time that will help me get over this giant hump staring me in the face?
God is so faithful to put the exact words I need right in front of me every morning. Today I was reading my Made to Crave devotional and Day 13 is titled The Tower of Impossibility. And she was writing about the exact same concept as my "coins of obedience", except for her, they are bricks on the path to victory. She has towers, I have humps....she has bricks, I have coins...so cool. Anyway, she's piling up her good choices to build a new foundation for her life and after piling them up high enough, one day she woke feeling empowered and hopeful. That was me today! Except I didn't start out very hopeful. I approached the scale with fear...and a lot of excuses. I travelled out of town for a week this month...I was sick and didn't exercise for a couple of days....I was surrounded by sugar and chocolate for a bake sale this weekend....Two birthdays in our family meant two birthday dinners....all the reasons why I might not make my goal. The goal that GOD had given me through much prayer in how to approach this thing. "Just be prepared, girl....with all that has happened this month, a couple of pounds below the goal will be okay." Then when I stepped on the scale, I couldn't believe my eyes! I jumped off then got back on again to make sure it said the same thing! Then I moved the scale to a different spot on the floor and weighed again...just to be sure! Hope and real confidence that I truly could do this thing flooded my soul!
Then in my devotional, she put it this way:
"...Brick by brick (or coin by coin for me!), prayer by prayer, good choice by good choice, my hope soared. I'm making positive physical changes, but even more importantly, I'm making wise spiritual changes. As Proverbs 24:14 reminds me, walking in spiritual wisdom secures my hope that this healthy journey will not end in defeat: Know also that wisdom is SWEET to your soul; if you find it, there is a future hope for you, and YOUR HOPE WILL NOT BE CUT OFF."What an awesome promise! If I continue to walk in wisdom, my hope will not be cut off! I can face that scale every month with HOPE and not fear. And even if the numbers do not look like Biggest Loser numbers every month, God's purpose is being done in my heart and in my life. I will get past this camel!
Monday, January 31, 2011
A Place Beyond Courage by Elizabeth Chadwick
One of my favorite authors of Historical Fiction is Elizabeth Chadwick. Her early novels are basically medieval romances, but then she started writing about real historical figures and those books are just superb. I'm only a little over halfway through this one, but I couldn't wait until I finished to talk about it!
Chadwick is a master at character development and this book is no exception. She shows you all sides of the important figures, not just the parts that fit their role as the "good guy" or "bad guy". The details are deep and surprising, with frequent "point-of-view" changes that roll seamlessly together.
A Place Beyond Courage tells the story of John FitzGilbert Marshal who served as Marshal to King Henry I, King Stephen and the Empress Matilda. John Marshal was the father of William Marshal, the famous court favorite of Eleanor of Aquitaine and subject of Chadwick's more well-known book, The Greatest Knight.
The book opens before the death of King Henry I, when John was a handsome, single courtier with the world at his fingertips. He later settles down and marries Aline, a pious, nervous young woman. It is Aline's story that has fascinated me, and shows how deftly Chadwick can plumb the depths of her characters. Just when I was ready to write Aline off as a weak, simpering fool who wasted the opportunities afforded her through her relationship to John, there is a paragraph from her view point that changes completely how I feel about her and makes her far more sympathetic....for the time being!
Chadwick also excels at creating the scene. I recently described her writing as a "sensory feast". I think it must be difficult to paint the picture of a lifestyle that is so foreign to the modern reader. It's hard for me to relate to the common occurances of bloodshed, abuse and filth inhabited by the medieval people. But in describing those circumstances, Chadwick will often add in a small thing that is universal and still resonates today to draw me in and cause me to sit a while in the scene....the leak of cold snow into a boot, the smell of over-ripe fish, the feeling that you are coming down with a cold. All common senses that will tie me to the scene.
At the spot where I am in the book, John has just been injured in battle and is recovering from his wounds. The wounds are severe and will surely change how he views himself and how he is viewed by others. The John Marshal that I have been reading about so far is quite different than the way he is portrayed in The Greatest Knight, so I can't wait to see how he gets from one place to the other!
Friday, January 28, 2011
Coins of Obedience
Having been inspired by the three resources I mentioned yesterday, gently nudged towards losing weight by my parents and facing my daughter's wedding (oh! all those pictures!), I'm off on this new weight-loss journey. I knew that the way I've done it before wouldn't work. If it did, I wouldn't need to be doing it again! I was determined to try something different. This is going to be an exciting year for our family. My son is going to Spain with his high school, my daughter is planning her wedding, three of us are going on a mission trip to Puerto Rico....I don't want to spend this exciting year obsessing with losing weight. And since in my heart I feel like my real milestone is a lifestyle of obedience, I decided to count "obediences" instead of ounces, calories and pounds. For some reason, I started viewing obedience as coins. And each time I make a right choice, I visualize throwing another coin on the pile. In my mind's eye, that pile is getting bigger every day and it is exciting for me!
There are four main ideas supporting my pile of coins. Let me preface this by saying that I have no medical or nutritional background, other than what I've learned over a lifetime of weight struggles. But this is the plan that I'm trying for me.
So we'll talk about each of these in more depth as I go along, but those are the basics....Eat Sensibly, Exercise Moderately, Weigh Once, Hold On!
There are four main ideas supporting my pile of coins. Let me preface this by saying that I have no medical or nutritional background, other than what I've learned over a lifetime of weight struggles. But this is the plan that I'm trying for me.
- Eat Sensibly - I've dieted all my life and probably can quote the calories, fat grams and carbs right out of the book for most things I eat. Being armed with that information is really important. While I don't write everything down and add it up, I do try to mentally stay around 1200 calories a day. I focus on portion-control and eating a broad range of foods. I will never be a totally "clean" eater, so I am not doing anything extreme like banning all sugar and bread. I recognize that I might have to tighten up as I get closer to my goal weight, but I'll ease into that if I need to.
- Exercise Moderately - I love to exercise. I love the feeling of that little bit of muscle soreness throughout the day. Not the agonizing, "I can hardly move" soreness...just the vague feeling that my muscles have been worked. I've done all kinds of exercise in the past...running 3 miles five days a week, The Firm and TaeBo home exercise videos, walking. But I do tend to get pain in my knees and my hips, so I have to be careful, especially here in the beginning when I am carrying so much extra weight. As a busy working wife and mother, I'm also short on time. So most of my exercise has to be done early in the morning. To start out with, I'm focusing just on cardio....burning calories. I have a recumbant exercise bike that I use each morning. That's all I'm doing for the first ten weeks. After that, I will add some work with weights and hopefully, eventually, I can add a little bit of running.
- Weigh Once a Month - As I mentioned earlier, I refuse to be obsessed with the numbers. But I do need to stay on top of how I'm doing if I'm going to reach my goal by next Thanksgiving. I've set a target for each month and as long as I stay below the target, I won't have to count calories or weigh more often. But if I miss my target, I may have to become more rigorous. I weigh only on the first of every month.
- Hold on to God - This is as much or more of a spiritual journey as a physical one. It will be impossible for me to make lasting healthy changes if I am not relying on God's strength. I'm being faithful in my daily quiet time with Him, currently doing the 21-day devotional that goes with Made to Crave. And I'm in a Bible Study with a community of ladies who are supporting, encouraging and holding me accountable.
So we'll talk about each of these in more depth as I go along, but those are the basics....Eat Sensibly, Exercise Moderately, Weigh Once, Hold On!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
My Approach to my Weight Loss Journey
Like many many people, I have struggled with my weight for my entire life. I'm sure I have gained and lost an entire kindergarten class over my lifetime. I am an engineer by education and have a very literal, analytical mindset, and I love to count, figure, graph and organize. Every time that I have been able to lose weight, I have rigorously counted calories, exercised like a fiend and been totally consumed by the process. I could only maintain that for a few months before I got stuck, or got injured, or generally lost motivation. And then gained back whatever I had lost and more.
There have been three books/Bible Studies that have been instrumental in changing my approach to this journey. They are Breaking Free and Get Out of That Pit by Beth Moore, and Made to Crave by Lysa TerKuerst.
Last Fall, I went through the Breaking Free study with some ladies at my church. During that study, I began to focus on my weight as an area of captivity and a spiritual stronghold in my life. As I prayed and worked through the study, God impressed on me that the issue is really one of obedience. Just will power for the sake of itself will never make the lasting changes that need to happen in my life. The milestone in my life is not a specific weight or a certain dress size. The milestone is a lifestyle that is so in tune with God that I can be consistently obedient in the choices that I make.
But during that study, I was also frustrated by the idea of just "getting through the moment" as the path to my milestone. If I take a pint of Chunky Monkey ice cream out of the freezer and eat the whole thing in one sitting, then I feel like I've gained ten pounds. I immediately know that I've messed up and there is nothing I can do to change it. But if I "get through the moment" and step away from the freezer, that doesn't mean I feel any thinner. Even if I get through the moment with much prayer and spiritual strength, it doesn't feel like I've really accomplished anything. And what comes after that "moment"? Another moment that I have to "get through"! I'm caught in an endless cycle of "moments" and it's all tied up into fleeting "feelings". Just getting through the moment was not going to be the way for me to get to my milestone of obedience.
In Get Out of That Pit, Beth talks about overcoming behaviors that keep you mired in a pit. She says that after some number of times of repeatedly making the right choice, Satan will eventually give up on that area of your life and move on to something else. This idea really resonated with me. I don't know if the number of times is 5, 50, 500 or 5,000. But I know eventually I will hit the number where these hard choices every day have become an obedient lifestyle that I don't even have to think about.
I've only just recently started to read Made to Crave but this book is very much in tune with where God has been leading me. One sentence basically sums up the concept. "God made us capable of craving so we'd have an unquenchable desire for more of Him, and Him alone." That's where I want to be! Recognizing the craving as a desire to be closer to God, not closer to Ben and Jerry!
I'm so excited about the way that God has brought these three resources into my life to help me start this journey. Over the next few days, I'll share a little bit about the practical ways that I am using what I am learning.
There have been three books/Bible Studies that have been instrumental in changing my approach to this journey. They are Breaking Free and Get Out of That Pit by Beth Moore, and Made to Crave by Lysa TerKuerst.
Last Fall, I went through the Breaking Free study with some ladies at my church. During that study, I began to focus on my weight as an area of captivity and a spiritual stronghold in my life. As I prayed and worked through the study, God impressed on me that the issue is really one of obedience. Just will power for the sake of itself will never make the lasting changes that need to happen in my life. The milestone in my life is not a specific weight or a certain dress size. The milestone is a lifestyle that is so in tune with God that I can be consistently obedient in the choices that I make.
But during that study, I was also frustrated by the idea of just "getting through the moment" as the path to my milestone. If I take a pint of Chunky Monkey ice cream out of the freezer and eat the whole thing in one sitting, then I feel like I've gained ten pounds. I immediately know that I've messed up and there is nothing I can do to change it. But if I "get through the moment" and step away from the freezer, that doesn't mean I feel any thinner. Even if I get through the moment with much prayer and spiritual strength, it doesn't feel like I've really accomplished anything. And what comes after that "moment"? Another moment that I have to "get through"! I'm caught in an endless cycle of "moments" and it's all tied up into fleeting "feelings". Just getting through the moment was not going to be the way for me to get to my milestone of obedience.
In Get Out of That Pit, Beth talks about overcoming behaviors that keep you mired in a pit. She says that after some number of times of repeatedly making the right choice, Satan will eventually give up on that area of your life and move on to something else. This idea really resonated with me. I don't know if the number of times is 5, 50, 500 or 5,000. But I know eventually I will hit the number where these hard choices every day have become an obedient lifestyle that I don't even have to think about.
I've only just recently started to read Made to Crave but this book is very much in tune with where God has been leading me. One sentence basically sums up the concept. "God made us capable of craving so we'd have an unquenchable desire for more of Him, and Him alone." That's where I want to be! Recognizing the craving as a desire to be closer to God, not closer to Ben and Jerry!
I'm so excited about the way that God has brought these three resources into my life to help me start this journey. Over the next few days, I'll share a little bit about the practical ways that I am using what I am learning.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Well....here I go!!
Hmmm....my very first blog post! I want to use this blog to document three big things in my life:
-Love: I love my husband, my son, my daughter, my family and friends. I want to learn how to love them more and better.
-Obey: I'm on a weight-loss journey. What else is new, huh? What's new this time is that instead of obsessing about calories consumed and calories burned and weighing every day, I'm focusing on obedience. I'm trying to listen to God more about everything that I do, including what I eat. Instead of counting calories, I am counting "obediences" and adding them to my pile each and every time I choose to obey.
-Read: Now that my kids are older, I'm finding a little more free time, so I spend it reading. I read mostly Christian Fiction and historicial fiction, with a little mystery and romance thrown in there from time to time.
So we'll see how this goes! It should be fun!
-Love: I love my husband, my son, my daughter, my family and friends. I want to learn how to love them more and better.
-Obey: I'm on a weight-loss journey. What else is new, huh? What's new this time is that instead of obsessing about calories consumed and calories burned and weighing every day, I'm focusing on obedience. I'm trying to listen to God more about everything that I do, including what I eat. Instead of counting calories, I am counting "obediences" and adding them to my pile each and every time I choose to obey.
-Read: Now that my kids are older, I'm finding a little more free time, so I spend it reading. I read mostly Christian Fiction and historicial fiction, with a little mystery and romance thrown in there from time to time.
So we'll see how this goes! It should be fun!
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