Like many many people, I have struggled with my weight for my entire life. I'm sure I have gained and lost an entire kindergarten class over my lifetime. I am an engineer by education and have a very literal, analytical mindset, and I love to count, figure, graph and organize. Every time that I have been able to lose weight, I have rigorously counted calories, exercised like a fiend and been totally consumed by the process. I could only maintain that for a few months before I got stuck, or got injured, or generally lost motivation. And then gained back whatever I had lost and more.
There have been three books/Bible Studies that have been instrumental in changing my approach to this journey. They are Breaking Free and Get Out of That Pit by Beth Moore, and Made to Crave by Lysa TerKuerst.
Last Fall, I went through the Breaking Free study with some ladies at my church. During that study, I began to focus on my weight as an area of captivity and a spiritual stronghold in my life. As I prayed and worked through the study, God impressed on me that the issue is really one of obedience. Just will power for the sake of itself will never make the lasting changes that need to happen in my life. The milestone in my life is not a specific weight or a certain dress size. The milestone is a lifestyle that is so in tune with God that I can be consistently obedient in the choices that I make.
But during that study, I was also frustrated by the idea of just "getting through the moment" as the path to my milestone. If I take a pint of Chunky Monkey ice cream out of the freezer and eat the whole thing in one sitting, then I feel like I've gained ten pounds. I immediately know that I've messed up and there is nothing I can do to change it. But if I "get through the moment" and step away from the freezer, that doesn't mean I feel any thinner. Even if I get through the moment with much prayer and spiritual strength, it doesn't feel like I've really accomplished anything. And what comes after that "moment"? Another moment that I have to "get through"! I'm caught in an endless cycle of "moments" and it's all tied up into fleeting "feelings". Just getting through the moment was not going to be the way for me to get to my milestone of obedience.
In Get Out of That Pit, Beth talks about overcoming behaviors that keep you mired in a pit. She says that after some number of times of repeatedly making the right choice, Satan will eventually give up on that area of your life and move on to something else. This idea really resonated with me. I don't know if the number of times is 5, 50, 500 or 5,000. But I know eventually I will hit the number where these hard choices every day have become an obedient lifestyle that I don't even have to think about.
I've only just recently started to read Made to Crave but this book is very much in tune with where God has been leading me. One sentence basically sums up the concept. "God made us capable of craving so we'd have an unquenchable desire for more of Him, and Him alone." That's where I want to be! Recognizing the craving as a desire to be closer to God, not closer to Ben and Jerry!
I'm so excited about the way that God has brought these three resources into my life to help me start this journey. Over the next few days, I'll share a little bit about the practical ways that I am using what I am learning.
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